Something about Patri

Papi and I survived a weekend together in my tiny studio. We shared my queen size bed, but thankfully he did not snore like last time. I got him to cook me risotto and he even gave me a handful of pictures from my trip to Paris that I thought I had lost forever!

It’s funny how, with time, I am starting to recognize so many of my characteristics in him. Or I guess it’s the other way around, whatever.

He has a blind passion for anything chocolate, no matter what it involves, if it contains chocolate, he wants it.
He loves shopping, browsing, being in stores. When asked what he would like to do Saturday, he chose to spend the day in the mall and enjoyed every minute of it.

He is fascinated with anything technological. He owns two iPhones, an iPad, a couple laptops, a computer…. And he’s always looking for the next cool thing. It was funny to see him play with my Mac, since he’s currently a Microsoft man who’d like to get with the program. The only thing he was satisfied with was the brightness of my keyboard, aside from that, all I heard was frustration. But he’ll come around.

His addiction to iPhone covers. I own about fifteen, he wanted to buy himself just as many while he was here…

Brian and I took him to have steak on Friday night, his favorite meal, and during dinner he told us stories about being in the military in Italy as a young man. How the Lieutenant would always send him to clean the bathrooms in the mornings, and how when he first started, they would serve rice at every meal, and it’d be full of worms. He got so skinny he wouldn’t let my grandma visit him.  I love his stories, and the crazy ones about my family in Sicily or about growing up all over Italy because grandpa was in the military and he kept getting moved around.

To stay within the Halloween theme, I asked him about the ghost stories grandma used to tell us, and he shared a spooky one he had never told me before. He must have been around 8 years old when he and my uncle met two pretty girls, who told them a way to find out who their future wives would be. They had to attach a candle in the middle of a plate, sprinkle some olive oil on the plate, light the candle and stand in the dark in front of a mirror. After a few minutes, their future spouses would appear on the other side.  My father was scared to try it, but my uncle talked him into it, so one night they prepared everything, turned off the light and stood next to one another in front of the mirror. After a few minutes, my father started feeling although someone was heavily breathing over his shoulder. He asked my uncle if he could sense or see anything, my uncle said he couldn’t. But my father still heard the heavy breathing next to him. He was spooked and turned on the light. He went to the bathroom and the breathing was still with him… he said he felt so frightened that he ended up sleeping in his brother’s bed that night, and by the time he woke up, the breathing had gone.

He has tons of interesting stories from when he was younger, some are from living in Southern Italy as a kid, and some others are from his first years as an air traffic controller. My favorite one is probably the one about the UFO over my hometown. He’s always believed in UFOs. He said that you couldn’t help believing if you were an air traffic controller, because there were sightings all the time. He was unloading the car one night, coming home from somewhere with my mother and my new born sister. My mother and the baby went inside and he was grabbing something from the back seat when he felt like someone was watching him from above. He said it was an eerie feeling and it made him look up. I don’t remember what he saw, but I do remember that he ran inside because whatever he sensed or saw, didn’t feel friendly.

I’m always so fascinated by these stories; I could listen to him for hours. All the things he has seen and done…

He only stayed for a couple days and then went back to Chicago to stay at my sister’s. We manage to see each other once a year so it’ll probably be a few months before we see each other again. I am overdue for a trip to Italy, so I hope I’ll be the one visiting him next year. For now it’s back to texting and phone calls, and maybe FaceTime once in a while.

It was Mardi Gras six years ago. I was working at a small law firm in Marlton, NJ and my boss was leaving at lunch time to go celebrate in the city. I had the rest of the day all to myself, and so I did one of my favorite things to do when I had a car and lived in the suburbs: I went to look at puppies.

I walked into the Cherry Hill pet store around 1pm and made my way to the dogs. There must have been about seven or eight of them in the glass crates. Most of them were napping, others were just hanging out, other looked at me hoping to get pulled out for a few minutes. There was this one little monster though, full of pep, who came right up to the glass to say hello. He was a black and brown fur ball, full of energy and he sort of stood out, even though I didn’t linger much in front of him.

A few hours later, my roommate got out of work. I had been bugging her for a while to get a dog, and even though it was always done mostly in jest, I truly wanted one. I decided to take her back to the pet store, “just to look”.

Once we got there, it was a bit busier and most of the puppies were up and about, barking, trying to get people’s attention. We paused to look at a little white fur ball, or maybe a Yorkie, who knows? But I noticed the crazy black and brown one from earlier that day. He was scratching on the glass, barking, spinning around, making a ruckus. We asked the sales person to pull him out. “Lhasa Apso. Male. Born December 6th” Never heard of a Lhasa Apso before. How big do they get? They can’t get that big, this little guy is hardly a pound at two months.

They put all three of us in a little enclosed area and put him on the floor. He was a ball of energy, it was hard to keep him still. He was jumping up my legs, trying to bite my fingers, licking whatever he could get his tongue on, falling on his butt, running in circles. He was a mess. Within about thirty seconds my roommate and I decided to take him home.

While driving home, we started discussing possible names. She was mentioning things like “Dolce”, I was dead set on Trevor before I even knew we’d get a dog. It was impossible to agree so we flipped a coin and Trevor it was.

From the start Trevor was mostly my responsability. I was in charge of feeding him, walking him, and training him. That night, I set up his crate in the laundry room, I put down a nice comfy towel, and kissed him goodnight. The howling began as soon as my bedroom door shut. I’m sure many new dog owners have gone through this, you tell yourself: “I just have to be strong a few minutes, he’ll stop. If I give in now, it’s all over. He’ll get spoiled. He needs to learn the crate is his bed, and this is mine. I am going to be strong”. But the howling, crying and barking continued. I lasted about ten minutes.

I went to the laundry room, pulled him out and put him in bed with me. I woke up and found him under my bed, staring up at me with his big brown eyes. We have slept together ever since. He likes to sleep on the bed now, I think he was a little scared that first night. But once in a while, I will hear him go under the bed, he must like it down there.

Trevor never ate my shoes (thank God!), but he does love to eat underwear (he prefers dirty but he isn’t picky). He eats tissues like they are candy, ice cubes are his favorite treat, and he begs shamelessly whenever I am eating anything. He recognizes his brush and hates it with a passion, but as soon as the brushing is over, he knows (and expects) exactly four treats. He’s not a big fan of baths but when I pull out the Johnson & Johnson and call him into the bathroom, he will obediently (although reluctantly) come. Car rides make him extremely happy, even if you just put him in the car to pull out of the driveway and park on the street. When you come back in from taking out the trash he will greet you like he hasn’t seen you all day. Around 8pm he will go to lay on his blanket on the bed, even if that blanket is folded up in a small square. He will also get huffy when you nicely grab said blanket to lay it out for him. He doesn’t like men or children, he is a bit easier with girls, and he enjoys the company of other dogs.

His breed makes him fiercely loyal and protective. I discovered that Lhasas are Tibetan guard dogs, they worked in Buddhist monasteries along with the Tibetan Mastiffs. The Mastiffs would keep guard outside, the Lhasas would guard the inside and alert of intruders with their loud barks.

Thankfully Trevor doesn’t bark much, but he’d die before he let a stranger get to me, and although most of the time this is quite a nuisance, he makes me feel safe, and loved.

We have been living alone for about four years now and we are a pretty good team. He licks the bowl when I’m done eating my cereal, and whenever I drop an ice cube out of the freezer, he takes care of it. If he sits and stares at me intently, it’s because his water bowl is empty and I need to refill it right away. He has a basket full of toys but he knows that my Teddy is off limits. In the mornings it’s all business because mama has to go to work, but in the afternoon we have time to walk around the block and smell every single tree or grass patch on the sidewalk. We are not ones for lots of cuddles, but every once in a while, he likes to lay right up against me and let me scratch his belly. And, since those moments are rare, they are that much better.